Camping

We went camping in the Great Australian Bush with a young family from church and friends of friends of friends who realised they'd met at some other place once before.
It was fabulous to be outside, to let the kids get dirty, to challenge ourselves with climbing a mountain (we didn't quite make it to the top, despite the stories of the little red engine), to get to know people, to share food and recipes.
I think it's good for our kids to live with other people, even if just for a few days. They dragged others into games of cricket, helped people light fires, dragged people off to see the island in the stream and it's secret entrance, and continued on with their less-than-perfect behaviour that makes them kids, and us the parent's whose job it is to teach them.
I think it takes a certain amount of letting go on our part to just let the kids work out for themselves how to relate to people, how to behave, how to solve conflicts and ask for help. Camping is a great time for this. As parents we're busy talking to people and preparing food, and the kids are free in a wide open space where they can feel they're off by themselves doing whatever they want, like back in the good ole days when kids had to be back home by dinner time.

On Sunday morning we made damper. We built the fire in that quiet time of morning before people are really awake, made the mixture while the kids hovered around watching, and others woke up and had pancakes for breakfast. The kids ground the coffee beans we'd roasted for hours the night before.

We set up the icons in a quiet corner of the camp ground, right at the bottom of the slope of the mountain. We planned our little service as the damper cooked in the coals of the fire and everybody else quietly glanced over every now and then. Our poor old priest (that's just a saying btw) was sick and unable to serve at a liturgy. So we chanted some hymns, and read from Ascending the Heights. Then we asked God to bless our food and shared the damper we had made.

It was a great time to get away from it all, to live simply if just for a weekend. We'd love to do it at the start of every lent and maybe advent too. It was a fabulous way to share with our friends.

Birthday Presents

We had our youngest daughters sixth birthday party on Saturday. Now that she is finally interested in reading she insisted that I point to each word as I read her invitation. I can't skip words anymore!
So when I read the part, "Please don't buy me a present but you might like to make me one, like some nice biccies or a picture," she said, "No, Mummy. I like presents from the shop."
We compromised with "home made/kid made presents welcome."

She did get some little tea cup biscuits and some drawings, and a tiny God's eye made with cotton and toothpicks, which was lovely. She also got a doll and laugh's when you press it's tummy, a beading kit and a "make a stain glass window" kit. She thinks it's all great, except that we haven't been able to make the stain glass window since it needs to be baked, and I am not turning the oven on when it's 39 C.

I made her a little doll. I also gave her three beeswax candles and a little packet of decorating wax, which she loved using, and a tiny tree puzzle.

Lent's started already?

Lent has started and I feel totally unprepared. I payed no attention to the signposts the church gives, Meatfare Sunday, the time to give up meat, Sunday of the prodigal son, always told as lent approaches.

I haven't been shopping for a while, so I've run out and got a chicken one night, and cocktail frankfurts the next. Frankfurts of all things! I don't think I've ever bought those little red-skinned-filled-with-who-knows-what hot dogs in my whole life, and now I buy them at the start of lent, when I'm wanting to give up meat.

The kids loved them. They set the table with candles and wine glasses and flowers and matching plates. Then I served them up baked potato, corn and mini bread rolls with mini hot dogs. They thought it was great. I did mean to ask the kids what they wanted to do for lent. I got as far as, "well kids, tonight is the first night of lent," and then who knows what happened. Hopefully soon we'll have our little list of customised spiritual disciplines for each child up on the fridge.

We have been reading evening prayers together. It's something I would like to continue each night of lent. Last night all the kids hopped into bed together and by the pale purple light of an electric candle left over from carols by candlelight, I read the prayers. "Yay! These prayers." said my middle one. The kids joined in where ever they could. I was quite surprised at how much they knew.

There's a fascinating article on wikipedia about fasting. It lists the goal of fasting for different Christian denominations, and in my experience seems to be correct. The little summary about fasting in the Orthodox church reminds me of what is most important to remember during fasting;

The idea is not to suffer, but to use the experience to come closer to God, to realize one's excesses, and to engage in almsgiving. Fasting without increased prayer and almsgiving (donating to a lo Tcal charity, or directly to the poor, depending on circumstances) is considered useless or even spiritually harmful by many Orthodox Christians.

as does this from Saint John "the golden mouthed" Chrysostom

Do you fast? Give me proof of it by your works.
If you see a poor man, take pity on him.
If you see a friend being honoured, do not envy him.
Do not let only your mouth fast, but also the eye and the ear and the feet and the hands and all the members of our bodies.
Let the hands fast, by being free of avarice.
Let the feet fast, by ceasing to run after sin.
Let the eyes fast, by disciplining them not to glare at that which is sinful.
Let the ear fast, by not listening to evil talk and gossip.
Let the mouth fast from foul words and unjust criticism.
For what good is it if we abstain from birds and fishes, but bite and devour our brothers?
May He who came to the world to save sinners strengthen us to complete the fast with
humility, have mercy on us and save us.

and this, paraphrased for me, from the story of the prodigal or wayward son.

But while she was still a long way off, her father in heaven saw her and felt compassion and ran and embraced and kissed her.

The God candle

I chatted with some mums, sans kids, in a noisy Greek restaurant surrounded by 40 bikers who included our husbands. We made a little holy huddle, shouting to be heard about our desire for our kids to live as Christians, dedicated to Christ.

My middle child is very good at making connections between her prayers and God's actions. She remembers what she has asked God for, and tells me when she sees God answer. She has a little round carpet that she calls her prayer mat. She will take it off to a quiet corner and decorate the space with icons, candles, tinsel, a gold goblet, stones and anything that helps her tell a bible story. She has a prayer journal that she places there too.

She has moments where she cannot believe that God loves her because she feels so bad. She knows she does not do the good things she wants to do. She has moments when she is overwhelmed at how sinful the world is, and moments when she is filled with complete joy at the wonderful way God has made things. It is very easy to know your child is developing a relationship with God when they come out with things like this. It's a little harder when they show no interest in prayer, or church, or at 5 or 7 0r 13 just say, "God is dead."

One thing we all did in situations like these, was never give up. We continued to say bedtime prayers with our non participating children, or said grace, or continued to take them to church.

Sometimes we have crazy ideas, like a Saturday night family worship night where the family sits around and sings songs and reads the bible and has little talks about God. I say crazy because despite all those American books that recommend the idea, every person I've met who has suggested it to their partner has not been greeted with enthusiasm. Possibly because it is so contrived. (Feel free to comment if you have found a way to make it work for you. Everyone is open to ideas that work. )

What has worked for us, is little everyday rituals that slip into family life. My all time favourite easy-to-start-with God ritual is what we call, "The God candle." We found a little triangular plate that we sit a big fat candle on. It sits on the dinner table and each night at dinner we light the God candle to remind us that God is always with us, and that He is the light, who chases away the fear we have in the darkness. We have a candle snuffer, and whoever snuffs out the candle says a short prayer.

At night time when the kids are scared of the dark, we pray, we sing, "Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal , Have mercy on us," we ask God to lock up the scary things and send them away ande I leave the God candle flickering away on a cleared, high shelf.

The youngest one was lying all over the seat and me in church yesterday, when she realised the others were holding candles. So she jumped up and ran across the front of the church to join them just as Fr. John swung the censer towards the congregation. It missed her head by centimetres.
Do you think it's an extra blessing if the censer whacks you in the head?

Off to school to change the world

School has started and my attached-to-my-arms baby has gone off to school for the first time with a quick kiss and a hug. She's loving it. And so am I.

My mum still remembers the first day all her children went off to school. She came home to do all her morning jobs. All finished, she thought it must be time for lunch. It was only 10am!

I'm finding I can do all those little extra things that I always left before because I knew my kids were getting tired, or hungry or had been at the baby sitters long enough. There's no real free time when you have young kids at home. You always have to be aware of their every need. Even when babysitting can be arranged that time has to be used so carefully.

Speaking to a much older friend, he warned that this is a dangerous time in my life. His theory is, I've been mothering for years, waiting for when I would be free to do all the things I used to do. Now I discover that I'm a totally different person to what I used to be, while my husband has stayed the same.

Only, I've never believed my life was on hold while I raised children. Life continues with children. Children are part of life too. I've had to change my direction, or not the direction, but certainly take a different path, and my husband has come along too.

I guess I'm lucky in that I've always believed that wherever I am, I bring the kingdom of God with me. There's always people to love, and to journey with, justice to be done, or simply jobs to be done for the glory of God. Another older friend said it took her years to learn that, and until she did, she was always unsatisfied and looking for the really big thing she could do for God.

I want my children to learn that they can make a difference in the world. I want them to learn that every person is important, every person an icon of Jesus. I want them to learn there's a whole community that needs their input, to make the world a better place. I want them to learn about the world and life. So I've taken them along for the ride.

They've seen us help at church, organise a playgroup, chat to people in the park, pick up rubbish on the street. Helped to make casseroles for people, visited nursing homes, been to funerals, stopped to help people at the side of the road, helped build a community frog bog, pulled out weeds in the bush. Actions speak so much louder than words. But words, when they come at the right time are important too. When the kids ask, "why are we picking up rubbish?" I tell them.

Of course life comes in waves or stages. Sometimes it takes all your energy just to feed everyone and try to sleep. Providing for your child's basic needs will teach them how to love too. If you can do just this for the first two years of your babies life, you will be giving a little person the resources they need to be able to love and trust, and you will make the world a better place.

The best explanation for school I've ever heard came from Tony Campolo. Paraphrased by me, he said, "If you want to change the world, then you need to learn all about it. You've got to know what you're talking about when you start presenting solutions. " I'll keep doing the real life stuff, but now I guess my little one takes a small step onto the path of learning how to find things out for herself.

Morning Prayer

My girls do not like getting out of bed. No one in our household has ever been an earlier riser, (except no.1 son, who knew he had to lie still in Mum's bed until 8 - 0 - 0 was on the clock.)

I go into the girls' bedroom and kiss them on the head. When they stir they get a cuddle. I lift them out of bed. The youngest puts her little arms around my neck, the oldest feigns sleep, and I carry them to chairs in the lounge room. They bury their heads down in the cushions and put their tails in the air. I do have a photo...

I've been reading "7 times the sun," a Steiner inspired book about developing everyday rituals with your kids. There are various short rhyming verses included to say as part of a morning ritual, but to me only welcoming the sun seemed to be lacking in depth, and any true meaning. I've been half heartedly keeping my ears open for a little verse that better expressed a thankfulness to God. I couldn't work out either just when to say this verse without making it all a bit contrived. How could I make it a natural part of the morning?

This morning the girls were snuggled into their chairs, one either side of our little prayer corner book shelf. I stood in between them and started my morning prayers. I looked down and wondered. Then I read aloud, "Arising from sleep, I thank you, O Most Holy Trinity, that for the sake of Your great kindness and longsuffering, you have not had indignation against my, for I am slothful and sinful...You have shown your customary love for mankind, and raised me up as I lay in heedlessness, that I might sing my morning hymn and glorify your sovereignty..."

I did wonder if I should translate into kiddie language, but mostly I left it.

I finished the rest of the prayers silently as the girls slowly started talking.

This evening as I put them to bed (the second time. The first time I was cross at them for not putting away their game like I had asked. I thought I should go back and do it gently) they asked, "Can you say one of those prayers like we said this morning?"

It was another moment to be stuck on the fridge, this time for me, to remember that, "Yay, I did something right. I did something that impacted on them. I have helped them want to pray."

We finished our thankyou prayers, and our please help prayers, and I tried to recite the little blessing for the mother of God, "Truly it is right to bless you, ever blessed and most pure Mother of our God. More honourable than the cherubim, and more glorious than the seraphim, in purity you gave birth to God the Word; True Mother of God, we magnify you.

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and forever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

Through the prayers of our Holy Fathers, O Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us and save us. Amen.

God bless you.